Whats jokes
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
What's a skeleton's favorite meme?
Ken Bone.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
What store do orphans never go to?
Home Depot 🤣
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer? A: Flanders Red Ale.