Whats jokes
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An im-pasta.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
What does a pencil and a plan have in common?
They were both in the Twin Towers.
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?