Whats jokes
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
omg look what homer said
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!