Whats jokes

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

What do you call a plane with no wings?

Sally.

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

What's worse than ants down your pants? Michael Jackson.

What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.

What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter; he's not coming.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?

De-calf!

What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?

Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?

They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.

What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.