Whats jokes

It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"

What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?

I don't have a girlfriend.

What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

What do you call a plane with no wings?

Sally.

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

What's worse than ants down your pants? Michael Jackson.

What did the helicopter say?

Helicopter: "Kobe!"

What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?

De-calf!

What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.

Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.