Whats jokes
What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.