Whats jokes
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
What would be Joe Biden's name if he was an orphan? "Joe."
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What is black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
What is Michael Jackson’s favorite song? “Little Drummer Boy.”
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
What name is easy to say in Spanish?
Marissa!