Whats jokes
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
Whats up brother
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.