Whats jokes

What do you call an under-the-weather seven?

A sick seven.

What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

What happened to the frog that partied illegally?

He got TOAD away!

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

What do planes and offices have in common?

They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

What was Jesus's favorite sport?

Lacrosse.

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

What's an upside of being an orphan?

You'll never get grounded again.

What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.