Whats jokes
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).