Whats jokes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
Memes
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
what does BLM stand for?
Biden loves minors.
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home >:D
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.