Whats jokes

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.

What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?

I don’t have a Mercedes.

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

What's an alien's favorite computer key?

The space bar!

What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?

This would be much better if you were alive.

What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?

Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.

What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.

What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata

What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.

What do you call someone with a pindie spot?

Stop screen recording.

Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?

A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?

White Vans.

What is an orphan's favorite show?

Batman.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.