Whats jokes
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Memes
hehehe😭
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?
An Indian person is burnt after death.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.