Whats jokes
What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.