Whats jokes
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
Wife: "Did you notice that the child is actually not yours?"
Husband: "I've been suspecting this for a long time. Finally you admit it."
Wife: "What are you talking about? I asked you to pick up our child from the kindergarten. But the child you picked up is not ours!"
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.