Whats jokes

What does a Mexican Highlander say?

"There can be only Juan!"

What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

(Later)

"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.

What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?

"Here Comes The Airplane!"

Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.

Feminists: Correct.

Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White Vans.

What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"

What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.