Whats jokes

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What place can you always find suicidal cows at?

"McDonald's."

What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Not being retarded.

What does a Mexican Highlander say?

"There can be only Juan!"

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.

Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.

Feminists: Correct.

Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White Vans.