Whats jokes
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.
Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.
A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"
The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.
The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"
"They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.