Whats jokes
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
What is the difference between me and a knife?
The knife has a point.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.