Whats jokes

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.

What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?

Throwing the cow across the lake.

A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"

The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."

The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?

A Twix.

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

What did Earth say to the other planets?

"You guys have no life!"

What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.

What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?

Chromozoned.

What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!

[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.

What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?

A toaster.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?

They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.