Whats jokes

What is the tallest building?

A library 📚

It has the most stories.

What's black and white and red all over?

A massacre at a funeral.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?

The feather.

The rope stopped the kid.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Surprise egg.

What's white and bloody?

Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.

What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?

My boner.

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?

Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?

Throwing the cow across the lake.

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"

The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."

The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."

What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?

Chromozoned.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?

A Twix.

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

What's the difference between yes and no...

Nothing.

What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.