Whats jokes
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Memes
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.