Whats jokes
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.