Whats jokes

What's white and bloody?

Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.

What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?

A disorder.

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.

What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?

A fungi.

What do you call a bad amputation?

A rip-off.

What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?

Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁

What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.

Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.

A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"

The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.

The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"

"They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?

Gotta Go Fast!

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?

Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.

What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?

Answer: Assprin.

Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?

Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...

Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?

A: A knife has a point.

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.

What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?

The low ground.