Whats jokes
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Memes
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!