Whats jokes
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Memes
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.