Whats jokes
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Memes
meme:
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.