Whats jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
Memes
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."