Whats jokes
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.