Well jokes
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?
Well, it only takes one nail.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we'll have to go through it!"
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
We’ll be back.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
The four Daisies:
Princess Daisy
Daisy Duck
Daisy Wells
Daisy Dove Bloom
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.