Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.
Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!
Yo mama so fat, even Thanos had to snap twice.
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
The chicken is so fat.