Weight jokes
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Yo mama fat as fuck.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
Yo mama so fat that she broke your computer!
lol
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.
Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!
Yo mama so fat, even Thanos had to snap twice.
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.