Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat that she broke your computer!

lol

Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!

You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!

Yo mama so fat, even Thanos had to snap twice.

Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.

Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?

A: A skele-TON.

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?

"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."

Yo mama's so fat, when she sat down there was a big earthquake.

Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"