Weight jokes
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.