Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!
Yo mama so fat that Thanos had to snap twice!
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10... It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Yo mama so fat she is the Google JavaScript loading.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.
Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.
In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.
But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.
Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.
So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.
Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...