Weapon

Weapon jokes

Chuck Norris

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

Suicide

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?

Dave: No.

Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

Depression

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

Memes

Shotgun

My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."

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  • Grenade launcher

    "Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

    "Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

    "Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

    Infidelity

    A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

    School shooting

    My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

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  • Pistol

    Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

    I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

    Blade

    what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.

    Land Mine

    I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

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  • Russian Roulette

    A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.

    Man

    I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

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  • Bullet

    I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

    Squad

    What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?

    Suicide squad. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Last Word

    I will never forget my grandfather's last words: β€œThe fuck you doing with that knife?”

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