Weapon jokes
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
Memes
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.