Weapon jokes
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
Memes
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"