Weapon jokes
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
Memes
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"