Weapon jokes

I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

Why does the military recruit orphans?

Because homing missiles don’t target them.

How did the octopus go to the war?

Well armed.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."

Nardo Wick

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?

A LETHAL WEAPON!

Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.

1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.

Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?

A stink bomb!

Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.

Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"

Girl: "Dude, this is a library."

Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.