What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles donβt target them.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
