Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
The titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge
water
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Why can jesus walk on water Because rubbish floats
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
