Water jokes
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
When you go to the community pool
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Tides right?
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.