Water jokes
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Water?
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Memes
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
What the hell dam, hell dam?
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.