What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
