Water jokes
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
water puppy
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Did you know that water is wet?
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!