Water jokes
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Why is the sea salty? Because it is always blue.
What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈