Water jokes
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What is the difference between Benjah and Jesus?
Jesus walks on the water; Benjah wades through the water.
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
Have you ever had African water??
Neither have they.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.