Water jokes

Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.

I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?

She ended up under the doc[tor].

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.

There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."

What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

One day a cow ate a fish.

What came out the other side?

A dead fish.

Have you ever had African water??

Neither have they.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.