What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Water Jokes
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
