Water jokes
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
swim like a boss
The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool? The dry bear.
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
What's written on the bottom of a Belgian swimming pool?
"No smoking."