Water

Water jokes

Millionaire

    • A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"

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    • Vampire

    • Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

    The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

    “Hot water?”

    “I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

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    • Guy

    • Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

    The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

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    • Water memes

    Condom

    • True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

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    • Son

    • "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

    "Why not?"

    "He keeps peeing in the pool."

    "Well, all kids pee in the pool."

    "Not from the diving board!"

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    • Water Bottle

    • Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

    Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

    In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

    Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

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    • World

    • When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

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    • Day

    • One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

    The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

    The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

    The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."