Water jokes

How does Jesus make tea?

Hebrews it.

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.

Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.

A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"

What does a cannibal call people in water?

Sea food.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.

When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.

Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim.

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.