How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ๐. My depression: remeber that one tim...... Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we..... Me: nope. My deprssion: *says really fast*:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ๐ณ๐ถ๐. My depression: ๐ dont worry I'll always be here for you.
I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds and he can only do it once
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
What does an cannibal call people in water
Sea food
What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool
A bath bomb
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
When i get naked in the shower it gets turned on
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath.....when all of a sudden.....I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
I cry a lot for someone who isnโt even properly hydrated
Whatโs the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
what is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning
Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes
