How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: π.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: π³πΆπ.
My depression: π don't worry I'll always be here for you.
I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
I cry a lot for someone who isnβt even properly hydrated.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
