A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?" The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident. They’ll hear the one word they hate the most. “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE”
whats yellow and cant swim
a school bus full with children
NASA found water on Mars
Mars - 1
Africa - 0
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet
Two men walked into a bar and one man asked for H20 and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a Suicide bomber in a wheel chair? A RC-XD.
What is the difference between a Apple and a Orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other "dam"
Last words of the captain of the Titanic.... Where's all this water come from??
Why was baptism invented. How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys.
what do you call a Suicide bomber under the water?
answer: a bath bomb
What makes sad people jump? a bridge
What cow can part water? Mooses
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.