Water jokes
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
I got more followers than Charli, because I brought a bottle of filtered water and food through Africa.
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."