How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
