Water jokes
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"