Water jokes
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
Booooooooooooo!
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.