Water jokes
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
Stan JoJo Siwa.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."