How do you get a million fans? Just ran through Africa with a bottle of water.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
I said to the fish, "I have dam."
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
The W in Africa stand for water
How do you cause an African Parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
What's the difference between white people and Africans?.... The white people get water.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
what is a fish without i's fsh
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
