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Truck

    • I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

    The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

    So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

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    • Emo

    • I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

    Twin Towers

    • My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

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    • Pastor

    • A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

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    • Parent

    • My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

    Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

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    Mom

    • Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

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    • Documentary

    • I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

    In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

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    • Porn

    • I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }

    I like to watch porn too ;)

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    • Wish

    • If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

    If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

    And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

    Content

    • September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star, and Tati Westbrook have gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash. I just don't find their content interesting, and I don't watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.

    Okay here's your funny joke!

    Who is the best makeup artist?

    Just because Jeffree has "Star" at the end doesn't mean he is best.

    Whore

    • Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

    Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

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    • Firework

    • How do you start a dance party?

    Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

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