You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
