What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
“Okay guys, watch very carefully because i can only show you this demonstration once.”
They said time heals all wounds, well I broke your watch.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate".
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
i got my blind friend a tv.. he never uses it
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves. Motherfuckrr that's a suicide watch
What did the watch say to the failing watch company? - You better watch it
Hey watch me eat this African sandwich. Takes huge bite of air.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch
what do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
a waist of time
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What's that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"
what did one twin say to the other? watch out for the plane!
why does the please touch museum sounds like police touch musuem? because they gotta watch out for the pedos
If wishes were horses Beggars would ride: If turnips were watches I would wear one by my side. And if if’s and an’s were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I would tell you a joke about a clock but it’s a wast of time 😄😄
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him and said, " Watcha gonna do, tell yout parents?"
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
