Want

Want jokes

Club

  • Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

  • 9
  • Base

  • "Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

    "Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

    "I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

  • 0
  • Language

  • Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

    Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

  • 1
  • Bill

  • How to decorate a wall:

    Strip off the paper and original plaster.

    Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.

    Paint it (if you want).

    Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.

  • 3
  • Nun

  • A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

  • 0
  • Orphanage

  • In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?

  • 6
  • Rape victim

  • What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

    Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

  • 3
  • Life

  • All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

    Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

  • 0
  • Grade

  • Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?

    'Cause he wanted higher grades.