Want jokes

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

An outlaw is wanted.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Why did Hitler kill himself?

He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed: Most Wanted.

What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?

If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.

What does a queen want on her cookie?

Royal Icing.

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.