Want jokes

People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.

What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.

But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?

Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?

Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.

Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?

People want donuts.

What do people with cancer always want to watch?

"Finding Chemo."

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

Why are orphans whores?

Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃

Why do orphans play GTA?

To make them feel wanted.

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

Why did the zebra cross the road?

Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"

*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

*Me sits down in the chair*

*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

*walks out without paying*

*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

*customer:* I told u she would.

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”