Want jokes

I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.

Why do orphans want to be communist?

So they would have a motherland.

Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?

-"I want my quarterback."

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like? Go look in the mirror.

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?

Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!

Why do orphans play GTA?

To make them feel wanted.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

Want to watch Titanic?

No, I'm not on board for it.

A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.

Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.