Carving jokes

Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.

Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.

Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.

Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.

Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.

Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.

In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.

With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.

What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?

They can both carve a new emotion.

Q: What's the best way to carve wood?

A: Whittle by whittle.

Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.