My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Some times I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
are you an orphanage? why? because i wanna put my kids in you
billie: hi
me: you wanna hear a story?
billie: yes sure
me: once upon a time, i ran over your dog last night.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass
~ hey you wanna hang
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal? So that they can be wanted.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Friends: You wanna hang with us? Me: No, I wanna hang myself
You learn from the best.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin? Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Ok there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now, whoever that is wanna chat? (im just bored)
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Wanna go ride a bike?
