Walk jokes

In Ohio, people walk with their hands.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Two Chinese men walk into a bar.

"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."

What do you call a disabled person that can walk?

Enabled.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

Happy was a cute hippo.

Happy sleeps in the water.

Happy walks on land.

Happy runs on Savannahs.

Happy swims in mud.

Happy takes a bath.

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"

Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"

"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"

I did a walk today, but I did have a good day. Tomorrow night, I...

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!

A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"