Walk jokes
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
I did a walk today, but I did have a good day. Tomorrow night, I...
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!